Relay for Life is always amazing...this year was no different.  

 

I wish I had made a longer clip of this beautiful song, 

my only regret.

(Although there were bratwursts that I did not partake of, so maybe two regrets.)

The nights ceremony included this beautiful song, torchbearers and a lap around the track for everyone who has lost a loved one to cancer.  The lap was in silence.  Well, it was supposed to be in silence.  We were walking in memory of Aunt Sherry, a joyful and dedicated mother.

The problem(?) is whenever Nathan feels a strong sense of love or spirituality he gets giddy.  It was all I could do to keep him upright.  He was having deep belly laughs intertwined with joyful squealing.  Even though we only got looks of support and slight smiles I took him from the procession so he wouldn't be a distraction.  It was a beautiful night all around.

But, it made me think of how so many of my friends commonly report situations of judgement when they are in public.  Fortunately I rarely feel the judgement of others.  I do sometimes I suppose, but I have learned over my many years how to remedy that type of situation before it even begins.  My methods include avoidance, informing and explaining.  

For avoiding, if I feel the eyes of judgement upon me I don't make eye contact.  I don't given them an opportunity to feel like they have an opening to state their opinion.  I don't look to the ground or display timid behaviors I just look past the guilty party.  Next to inform I do something to let curious eyes know that things aren't always as they seem.  I don't announce that my children have autism.  But, I discreetly sign to them, mention therapy to a sister or congratulate them on a behavior and tell them their teacher will be proud of them.  Then there are times when I do explain.  If someone says something offensive I don't try to excuse my child.  I just tell the offending party they are rude.  But, there are times when I do speak up and take the time to bring awareness to an individual.

An example, that I actually cherish, happened over 6 years ago.  In the grocery store Nathan yelled in a harsh inexperienced voice that he wanted an item.  A woman standing close to us said, "I guess they don't teach children manners anymore."  I looked her in the eyes and with patience said, "Well, I have worked with him for over a year on being able to make a verbal request and I will take it anyway I can.  I will not offer discouragement to him with some of the first words he utters."  Then I let her know I am a huge believer in manners for children.  She apologized and we laughed and chatted.  She ended by saying good-bye to my son and telling him what a big boy he was.  

She changed my life.  I learned if you give people a second chance they will often make things right.  And, I hope she learned from us not to be so quick to voice a negative opinion.