What a week. I found myself too tired to take the boys to their school function tonight. But, more than physically tired my thoughts are tired. My emotions are heightened and I feel the need for chocolate. I have noticed over the past week I am distracted and unfocused. The need for me to be focused is more important now than ever. As deadlines and possibly a new diagnosis loom near I find I am distracted by the blahs. As I rally what energy I have I think of what has changed that has caused this digression.
I have a thought. An understanding. I have had the pressing matter of gathering all of Nathan's records and creating a comprehensive file to send to Washington University.  I had to let something go. It couldn't be work. It couldn't the semi-annual checkups that all land in October. And, all of the appointments that result from my children walking into a doctor's office. It couldn't be family, pets or laundry (well maybe laundry). What I let go was 'my time'. My time with my friends.

What a mistake. This picture was last spring when I was taking time going out with local mothers and spending time with my support system.  The trap happens quick. But, getting out of it can take time.  This picture was taken as I was heading out to a girls' night with my friends.  Dinner and a show.  If we made it to the show.  Sometimes we end up just talking.  I wanted to post a now and then, but I have no current photo.  Taking 'time for me' gave me the confidence and the desire to step in front of the camera. 
 
I can't believe since I turned down a trip with a friend to do a service project (which is a bit self serving for me because we take time to relax and be ourselves) I have noticed tension has heightened and all that I thought would get done with that time still clutters my kitchen table.  So lesson learned. 
 If momma doesn't take care of herself she can't take care of others. 
                                 So I made brownies!

Just when I thought I cannot possibly feed this

chocolate chip pancake to my child.

Chase walks in and says,

"Wow, great pancake mom!"

That's how we roll!

 



End of the Season for the Dodgers

at the Miracle Field tonight.

And brrr was it cold.



Starting our Halloween festivities with

Springfield's Spooky Symphony!

The boys and I enjoyed our top row seats.  Nathan's choice.

As you can see by Nathan's eyes he was still in a bit of recovery phase from being sick last week.  We opted for the symphony top row rather than the party and coughing in anyone's face.

Missed our friends, but enjoyed listening to the music.

Not long after we were there Chase said, "Which one is Sam?"

I quietly reminded him his sister is our of town for the day. 

We just came for the fun of it. 

And yes, those are ninja costumes.

And Batman conducting!



So it is Friday and I am supposed to start my message blog, my deeper meaning, my...oh man I just have a headache 'my I am going to wait until next Friday blog'.  But, that can be a message in itself.  I am not a super parent and will not pretend to be one tonight.  I am going to let this go.  Not try to fix it, squeeze it in, or make it work.  Some days we cancel and just stay home to eat cereal and watch classic Disney...and it's okay.
So now I am going to let this aching head rest, lotion my hives, put up my feet after I feed the dogs cereal too (because we are out of dog food...and that's okay!)

Don't feel too sorry for the dogs they loved having gravy and string cheese today.  I may regret that when they refuse their dog food tomorrow, but for tonight their bellies are full.

This is why they have me wrapped around their fingers.

This was their activity of choice when Nicole was visiting this past weekend.

Chase joined his sisters in sitting around the table practicing drawing skills.



What a wonderful and delicious school day.

Camping and s'more activity.

I think Mrs. L. has a master's degree in motivation!

My sons love school!



Preparing for Nicole!

She is coming for our 'Fall Holiday'.

We won't see her until January so we are going to do it up big.



I started this blog as a record of the amazing life we live.  To show that disabilities are only a part of who we are.   Disabilities don't define us any more than our hair color.  It may help someone pick us out of a crowd or set us apart because we may not look like (or act like) the person standing next to us.  There are only some many cute little blond kids in a room at a given time.  My hope is to take Friday and talk about some of the differences.  To make it okay to talk about.  It is our life after all and you have watched over the years how we live a crazy life just like everyone else, yet there are things that can bare being talked about.