What a week. I found myself too tired to take the boys to their school function tonight. But, more than physically tired my thoughts are tired. My emotions are heightened and I feel the need for chocolate. I have noticed over the past week I am distracted and unfocused. The need for me to be focused is more important now than ever. As deadlines and possibly a new diagnosis loom near I find I am distracted by the blahs. As I rally what energy I have I think of what has changed that has caused this digression.
I have a thought. An understanding. I have had the pressing matter of gathering all of Nathan's records and creating a comprehensive file to send to Washington University.  I had to let something go. It couldn't be work. It couldn't the semi-annual checkups that all land in October. And, all of the appointments that result from my children walking into a doctor's office. It couldn't be family, pets or laundry (well maybe laundry). What I let go was 'my time'. My time with my friends.

What a mistake. This picture was last spring when I was taking time going out with local mothers and spending time with my support system.  The trap happens quick. But, getting out of it can take time.  This picture was taken as I was heading out to a girls' night with my friends.  Dinner and a show.  If we made it to the show.  Sometimes we end up just talking.  I wanted to post a now and then, but I have no current photo.  Taking 'time for me' gave me the confidence and the desire to step in front of the camera. 
 
I can't believe since I turned down a trip with a friend to do a service project (which is a bit self serving for me because we take time to relax and be ourselves) I have noticed tension has heightened and all that I thought would get done with that time still clutters my kitchen table.  So lesson learned. 
 If momma doesn't take care of herself she can't take care of others. 
                                 So I made brownies!