I quit remembering my dreams many, many years ago.  Studies say you have to wake just a bit to be able to remember them.  Well this tired mom does not stir in the middle of the night unless a child is in distress or the cat turns on the shower.  But last night was different.  The dream I had shook me to the core.  It was about Nathan.

Most of the time we live as most people do...loving, laughing and progressing.  But sometimes I remember that I have worries that are not most people's worries.  My dream was that everyone thought the other person was watching my 10 year-old son.  When I returned home no one knew where he was.  Panic ensued.  He wouldn't be out riding his bike or just lost track of time playing in the fields.  No.  We checked the neighbors pool, mobilized friends to search the 4 acres behind our home, all while having to consider he may just be in the house not responding to his name.  (I remember those days well.)

I woke before he was found.  Luckily.  While I do preach to everyone who will listen that my children are not so different than theirs.  Today between the hours of 4:00 a.m. and 5:20 a.m. I sat wide-eyed remembering that autism does bring some things to my life that I must face.  That I must be diligent.  I must protect my son(s) and teach them how to keep themselves safe.